An honorary pallbearer is someone the family names in the service as a pallbearer, but who does not carry the casket. The title is real, it is announced, it is printed in the order of service — and it comes with no weight.
That is the whole point of it. Funerals ask a specific physical thing of six people, and the list of people a family most wants standing near the casket is almost never the same list as the people who can lift one. The honorary title exists to close that gap without anybody having to explain themselves.
This page covers what the title means, who families usually name, how many to choose, whether an honorary pallbearer has to be there on the day, and how to ask someone. If you are looking for the carrying role instead, see pallbearer duties. For where this sits in the service as a whole, see the .
What families set out at the service, and keep afterward
The word pallbearer comes from the pall — the cloth draped over a coffin — and originally described the people who held its corners rather than the people carrying the weight underneath. The modern split preserves something of that older meaning. An active pallbearer carries. An honorary pallbearer is named in the same breath and does not.
The honorary pallbearer meaning that matters in practice is closer to witness than to helper. The family is publicly saying: this person belonged near him. Whether they could have taken a corner of the casket is beside the point, and the service is arranged so that nobody in the pews can tell the difference.
Our own pallbearer attire guide puts it plainly — the roles are meant to look the same from the pews, and that is the entire reason the title exists.
The two roles are announced together and understood differently, and the honorary pallbearer vs pallbearer question is the one families ask the funeral director most often. This is the comparison behind it.
Active pallbearer | Honorary pallbearer | |
|---|---|---|
Carries the casket | Yes | No |
Named in the order of service | Usually | Yes — this is the role |
Typical number | 6, occasionally 4 or 8 | 2 to 8, no fixed limit |
Must be physically able | Yes | No |
Must attend | Yes | No |
Sits with the family | Sometimes | Often, in a reserved pew |
Can be named after death | No | Yes |
The last row is the one that surprises people. Naming a deceased friend or sibling as an honorary pallbearer is a long-standing practice, and it reads as a tribute rather than as an error.
Less than the name suggests, and that is by design. What does an honorary pallbearer do on the day varies by family and by funeral home, but the common duties are these:
What honorary pallbearers do not do is lift, steer, or take any share of the weight. If you have been named and you are unsure whether you are expected to help, ask the funeral director rather than deciding on the day — the answer takes ten seconds and guessing wrong is awkward for everyone.
There is no rule here, only convention. The people most often named as honorary pallbearers are:
Most families name between two and eight. Six is common because it mirrors the carrying team. There is no maximum, and no funeral director will refuse a longer list.
The practical limits are these two:
Beyond that, name whoever should be named. This is one of the few decisions in a funeral where being generous costs nothing.
No. This is the part of the role that people most often get wrong, and it is worth being clear about.
An honorary pallbearer is being named, not rostered. Someone in another country, someone in hospital, and someone who died a decade ago can all appear on the list. The name is the tribute; attendance is separate.
If you have been named and you cannot come, say so — but say so to the family rather than declining the title. Most families would far rather have the name in the program than have the space.
The same as the carrying pallbearers: a dark suit, a white shirt, a plain dark tie, and dark shoes. Gloves, where the funeral home is using them, are usually handed to honorary pallbearers too.
You do not need to dress down to signal that you are not carrying, and you should not. The full answer, including what to do if you own no suit, is in our pallbearer attire guide — the guidance there applies to both roles without change.
An honorary pallbearer for a cremation is the same role with less to stand beside. Whether there is anything to carry depends on the service:
If you are planning this kind of service, planning a memorial service for a cremation covers the running order the names sit inside.
A military funeral changes the arithmetic, because the carrying is often done by a uniformed casket team rather than by the family's choice of six. That does not remove the honorary role — it usually enlarges it.
At a service with military honors, the body bearers are assigned. Everyone the family would otherwise have asked to carry becomes honorary by default, which is why military funerals frequently list more honorary pallbearers than civilian ones. Old unit members, a commanding officer, and fellow veterans from a post or legion are all common entries, and naming a group rather than individuals is especially usual here.
Two practical notes. Veterans named as honorary pallbearers may wear uniform or their association's cap and blazer rather than a dark suit, and that is correct rather than an exception. And the honor guard's sequence is fixed — the family does not arrange where honorary pallbearers stand during the flag fold, so ask the funeral director or the honors detail rather than assuming. What to expect from the rest of the service is covered in the military memorial guide.
Asking is easier than people expect, because almost nobody says no. Two things to include, and one to avoid.
Include:
Avoid explaining why they are honorary rather than active. "Because Dad's casket is heavy and you had your hip done" is true and unnecessary. The title carries no implication that needs defusing.
A version you can adapt:
Pallbearers of both kinds are usually thanked in writing, and honorary pallbearers are the ones most often forgotten — precisely because they did not visibly do anything.
A thank you note to pallbearers can be short. Three lines is enough:
Send them within two to three weeks. Funeral thank you etiquette covers timing and wording for the rest of the list.
Naming pallbearers is one of the last decisions, not one of the first — the list depends on who is traveling, and that is rarely settled early. It does have one hard deadline: the names have to be final before the order of service goes to print.
The funeral planning checklist puts it in sequence with everything else. The officiant will usually ask for the list themselves — see the funeral officiant's role for what they need and when.
What is an honorary pallbearer, in one sentence? Someone the family names as a pallbearer in the service and the program, who does not carry the casket.
What does honorary pallbearer mean on a program? Exactly what it says, and nothing diminishing. The names are usually printed in their own short list, either beside or beneath the active pallbearers.
What are honorary pallbearers expected to do? Be named, and be there if they can. Some walk in the procession; some are seated. Nothing physical.
How many honorary pallbearers can you have? As many as the program and the reserved seating can hold. Two to eight is usual; there is no rule.
Can an honorary pallbearer be a woman? Yes, and increasingly is. The same is true of the carrying role.
Can you name someone who has died? Yes. It is a recognized tribute, not a mistake.
What does an honorary pallbearer wear? The same as the carrying pallbearers. Do not dress down to indicate the difference.
Is honorary pallbearer a lesser role? No. It is a different one. The family chose to put that name in the program, and that is the whole of what the title means.
An honorary pallbearer is named rather than working. They are listed in the order of service, often walk with the casket without touching it, need not attend, and dress exactly as the carrying pallbearers do. Families name anywhere from two to eight, and generosity here has no cost.
If you have been asked, say yes. If you are the one asking, use the word "honorary" in the first sentence and leave the explanation out.
